1.25.2014

Winter Blues

This past week has been extremely exhausting. I have a new position at work that requires me to be there at 8 am and leave at 5 pm which I've never done and it's just extremely exhausting.

When I get there it's super cold and I'm freezing until about 12 when the sun has come out and it's super warm. And then when I go home it starts to get chilly.

I don't really get this weather. It's January and it's warm. That shouldn't be happening. I don't like it at all.

But why winter blues? I miss Joey terribly. 

For the past 3 years (now 4) we haven't spent winter together. And it's really getting to me that I have very few memories with him. I'm just done with the waiting. I've been waiting for over 5 years and the thought of having to wait 8 more months really stresses me out. My heart longs for him. I miss him terribly. I'm not saying that I'm not going to wait for him, nor am I going to transfer my frustration to our weekly email or letters. I just wish I didn't have to wait any longer.

I have all these ideas of what couples should do during the winter like go ice skating and cuddling and drinking hot cocoa cause it should be cold, but it's not happening, it's never happened. I don't think my head and my heart realize this.

My heart longs for a steady non-long distance relationship. For a boy I can hug when I want. For car rides and singing and being silly with a boy I love.

But my heart only longs for Joey, and my heart won't settle for anything less, because to me, he is the best. 

And honestly, after writing this I feel a lot better. Now I'm debating on whether or not I will post this. I'll sleep on it. 



6 comments:

  1. Awwww, Maria! I admire you and Joey so much! I can't imagine how hard it must be to have been in a long distance relationship for such a long time. But I love that you guys have made it work and I love love love the true and pure love that you have for each other. When I first started out on my wait, I was inspired by your story sooo much and now you've got only 8 months to go! You're awesome and I'm glad that you decided to share this. Keep smiling, lady!

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  2. Thank you FOR posting this. It really makes me appreciate what I have. My boyfriend lives 15 minutes away (and I'm not saying that to brag), but he is graduating this May and going into the Air Force at the end of the summer, and then we will be a long distance couple for a whole year. My head and heart haven't really let that settle, but I know it'll be rough. I can't even begin to imagine 4 winters without my love. /: Hang in there. God blesses the pour in spirit and the pure in heart. :)

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    1. You can do it rosala! It's hard but if you know he is the one for you, it will work out. I feel us getting closer through this experience but I get impatient and I want him home. I know I need to wait because when he comes back he'll finally be all mine forever and I won't have to say good bye ever again. And these 5 plus years of waiting will seem like they never happened, all the heartache I'm feeling, will go away.

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  3. I LOVE your new layout! It is so adorable!! Hope things seem BRIGHTER soon!

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  4. Just found your blog, it is adorable! I hope things are going better! I love that you post things you sew, i love to remake clothing I find from thrift stores! I love that I can make something more ME by sewing. Check out my blog :) brookiebrooks.blogspot.com

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